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I’ll never forget the night it first happened to
me. I was thirteen, sharing a bedroom with my older brother. I woke up in the
middle of the night and felt as if something was pinning me to the bed, choking
me, and electrocuting me, all at the same time.
The wind was blowing through my open window,
causing the curtains to flap, and it seemed that with each gust of wind the
electricity running through my body and the buzzing in my ears intensified. I
tried to scream, but the more I tried, the more intense the electricity felt,
the louder its buzzing in my ears, and the more choked I felt.
It was utterly terrifying. I didn’t believe in God
or the devil or anything at this point in my life, but I was certain something
evil had pounced on me that night, to the point that I didn’t sleep in my room
for the next three nights.
Can any of you relate? I’m sure many of you have
had similar experiences. Here is an email I recently got from a young woman
(whose name I have changed to protect her identity).
“Hello Pastor Greg! My name is Carol. When I was in
the 8th grade something weird happened to me in my sleep. I would get this loud
buzzing in my ears, and my whole body would become paralyzed. During this state
I often would hear voices, and see creatures. The doctor says I have “sleep
paralysis” and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just have to live with
it.
“The worst part of all, I have been raped in my
sleep! I can’t stop it. And believe me when I say, I CALL OUT IN THE NAME OF
JESUS
AND THE BLOOD EVERY TIME! But it
never works. It just gets angry and attacks me even more. Mentally, this is
tearing me down and I’m at my breaking point. So are my parents.
“In
church you talk about how God’s love for us is so scandalous! But when I pray and cry out to him he does nothing. I feel as if
he sits back and watches me be tormented by these demons. I have never been
involved with a cult, or any supernatural game or activity, except for maybe
the cheesy twilight movie but I have repented and rebuked anything that came
from those movies.
“So you can say I am very frustrated and confused
as to why this is happening to me. I love God, but I feel like this ultimate
love that he supposedly has for me is fake. He’s not helping me, and I am so
utterly hurt and lost. Mentally, I’m going nuts. Please help me, in some way if
you can. I can’t go on living my life like this”.
I suspect there are others who have
experienced something like what Carol is
going through. So I thought it might be of some help to share my response to
Carol with you..
Carol, I’m so
sorry to hear about your terrible situation. I hope something I say in the next
few
moments can be used by God to
set you free. I’ll tell you up front that what I’m going to share may not be
what you expected, but I ask you to keep an open mind because I know from
experience it really can completely set you free. I’ve suggested this to a
dozen or so other people I’ve met over the years who have had experiences just
like yours, and it has worked for them.
First, Carol, I want to encourage you in the
strongest terms possible to resolve in the deepest corridor of your heart that
you will keep your eyes fixed on the cross alone to reveal
what God thinks about you. The only weapon the
enemy really has on us is fear based on deception, and as he’s done since
the garden, his main target is to deceive us about the character of God.
If we allow anything other than
the cross to be a source of information about God’s character — whether it’s
some passage from the OT or some experience we are undergoing — we are
vulnerable to being led astray.
Paul at one point said “I resolve to know nothing except Jesus Christ, and him crucified”
(1 Corinthians 2:2).
I encourage you to adopt that attitude.
The cross means God loves you to the point that He was willing to do everything
possible to make you His own. It means He loves you with a love that could not
possibly be improved upon. Everything hangs upon you trusting this,
Carol. Whatever happens, Carol, lock this in!
Now, about your experience: I don’t deny that the
enemy is using your sleep paralysis to torment you. He uses anything that can
make us vulnerable to his deception. At the same time, I think it’s important
to realize that sleep paralysis is a phenomenon that can be explained in
natural terms.
I’ve done a lot of research on this because I
myself went through a period of time between the ages of 13 and 17 when I had
experiences very similar to yours, and I’ve since spoken
It turns out there is a perfectly natural
explanation to what is happening when we experience “sleep paralysis.”
You see, our brain shuts down when we fall asleep and turns itself on as we
wake up much like a computer does. It doesn’t happen all at once though.
Rather, the brain shuts down and wakes up one layer
at a time. And normally, as it shuts down and wakes up, the part of our brain
that controls our bodily movement wakes up before our conscious
mind.
But sometimes, for reasons that are still not
completely understood, our conscious mind wakes up before the
part that controls our bodily movement. When this happens, the persons feel
like they are trapped. They often feel like something is pinning them to the
bed (as I did). They often feel like they’re being
electrocuted, and they hear a buzzing in their ears, which sometimes
(as in my case) intensifies the more they try to “escape.”
And as this is going on, our rational mind, which
is always trying to make sense of our experience, imposes on the experience a
narrative to interpret it. Often, the person’s worst fears get projected onto
the experience, so they feel like they’re being suffocated, or raped, or are
about to be dismembered etc.
You are no doubt
caught up in spiritual warfare. The enemy is trying to torment you, and thus
far it seems he’s been pretty successful. But the warfare isn’t taking place at
the level of the experience itself, but at the level of your interpretation of
the experience. The only thing the devil can possibly have on you, Carol, is fear that
is based on deception.
In this light, Carol, here’s what I would
recommend. The next time you wake up and find yourself paralyzed, hearing the
buzzing noise, feeling like you’re being raped, seeing creatures and hearing
voices, I want you to try to relax and just say to yourself, over and over: “I am surrounded by the perfect love of God,
and this is just my brain playing tricks on me.”
Don’t fight the experience. Rather, just observe it
in a detached, relaxed, even curious manner. In doing this, you’re naming the
deception — this is just my brain playing tricks on me — and this in turn
causes the fear to go away.
It may be that the creatures you see and the voices
you hear feel too real to attribute it to your rational mind trying to make
sense of your experience. If so, that is no problem. Even if you believe
they’re real, the over-all experience you’re having is not.
So even if these creatures are in your room, they
are not actually raping you. That is what they’d like you
to think. That is the deception. So just remember that you’re surrounded by the
love of the all-powerful God, stay relaxed, and say to yourself, “greater is he that is in me than he that is
in the world,” as the Bible says.
Remember Carol, the only thing the
enemy has on you is fear that is based on deception –
and the deception is in how you interpret this experience. So relax in the love
of God, call out the deception, let the fear go, and you are free.
And again, whatever you experience, whatever you
see, always know that the cross alone is to be our source of
information about what God is like, and what God thinks of us.
In this spiritual war, there are no fence-sitters –
you are either on the Lords’ victorious army or on the wicked “Powers” of
Satan.
Ensure you are with the victorious army of
the Lord. Settle that sin issue right
now by saying this prayer:
“Father
God, I confess I am a sinner and my sins have separated me from You.
I
am truly sorry. I now want to turn away from my past sinful life and live a new
life pleasing to You.
Please
forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again.
I
believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the
dead, is alive, and hears my prayer.
I
invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from
this day forward.
Please
send Your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of
my life. Thank you, Lord, that according to Your Word, I am born again. I
promise to obey You and study your Word – the Bible.
Use
me for Your glory.
In
Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.”
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The Holy Spirit’s
‘Still Small Voice’
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“There Is a
Fountain”
William Cowper
William Cowper
lyrics
1
There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:
Lose all their guilty stains,
Lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.
Drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:
Lose all their guilty stains,
Lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.
2
The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
Wash all my sins away,
Wash all my sins away;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
Wash all my sins away,
Wash all my sins away;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.
3
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its pow'r,
Till all the ransomed Church of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Be saved, to sin no more,
Be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed Church of God
Be saved to sin no more.
Shall never lose its pow'r,
Till all the ransomed Church of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Be saved, to sin no more,
Be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed Church of God
Be saved to sin no more.
4
E'er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
And shall be till I die,
And shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
And shall be till I die,
And shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.
5
When this poor lisping, stamm'ring
tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save:
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save,
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save;
then in a nobler, sweeter song
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save.
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save:
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save,
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save;
then in a nobler, sweeter song
I'll sing Thy pow'r to save.
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